How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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