I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
