im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
