We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
