and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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