sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
