So drunk, too bad you don't want this
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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