I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i love accidental penises.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we're making bets on your personal life
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
