Christians are straight up FREAKS
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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