Screwed.edu
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
