ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
