Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
