i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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