i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
