he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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