he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
