East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
