youre lurking in front of me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
