It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
