I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
