I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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