therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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