What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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