I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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