so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Randomize
