I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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