You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
