Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
