eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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