How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
