I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
