thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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