don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
