Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
