It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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