Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
