i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
