it wasn't lemon gatorade
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
