yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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