can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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