don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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