Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
