Small penises have feelings too.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
