I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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