Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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