I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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