I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
