Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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