Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she looked like the before picture.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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