And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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