you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
