How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
