Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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