FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
