So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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