"it" just moved
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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