I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
