I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
