I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
