Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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