there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i now understand why vodka
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
