I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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