If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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