So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
