it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
