hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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