what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
