just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
