i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
