I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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