I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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